LOVE!!!

One of the BIGGEST talked about topics upon this very Earth today....LOVE. So many have experienced it, felt it, embraced it, died for it, killed for it, sacrificed for it, so on and so forth....but can anyone say that LOVE really means something to them?  In this day and age, LOVE and all that it represents is used in so many ways, I won't say exploited because it's not a person or animal and in the sense of being an actual thing....I would say it is not. Now, I am sure there are some who will disagree with me upon that, and I am not entirely sure I believe myself when I say what I said a bit ago. I am acquainted with the word myself, as I too once felt LOVE in my life unlike the kind that comes from family and close friends. No, this love was different; to me it felt safe, uplifting, secure. Many won't know what this feels like because they will never have the chance to know it. But for those who have, how did it make you feel?

I know how it made me feel, and for me to share it is an intimate look into my personal world that not many are given entry to.  To feel it, but lose it is an unjust feeling. I'll say because it's not something you care to give up once you have had it in your hands, venturing its way through your body up to your heart. Losing it is a feeling all in itself..because love can be lost in many different ways: it can be taken from you, it can be lost upon you, it can be stripped out of you are just to name several of the ways I've seen love ejected from the hearts, minds, and souls of many I've come to know over the past few years.

I got my first up close and personal look into the complex world of LOVE when I first left home at 18 and went to Maryland to work for the military as a new soldier on Active Duty with the United States Army. I am now 23 years old, and as I look back over my life the past 5 years that I've been on my own..I must say that it's been quite the rollercoaster ride. I never expected to go through HALF of the things I went through to get where I am now.  Many of the mistakes I made, were because of love and being the naive teenager that I was, I felt that I was adult enough to make the decisions a grown man would make and that I was not yet ready to make myself. I don't know that the person(s) I had been with had been entirely forthcoming with me when we first met, and today, looking back on it all.....I both thank and resent those individuals for the roles they played in my life. They say you go through trials and tribulations to make you a stronger person but sometimes those trials and such should be dealt with at certain times.

I feel as though I have more of a keen eye today than I did 5 years ago, and while many will say that I am still a young man in looks and heart...I believe that my mind has matured more and I am more adept to being able to spot when something is and isn't good for me.  I am 23 years old, and many people my age are out playing the field, hooking up, laying it down, partying on a 24/7 basis. Is that the impression our generation is leaving upon our ancestors and younger generation? It appears to be so and if that be the case, I care not to be apart of that legacy.

The Month of September!!!!

First off, let me start off by saying that this month is a month of remembrance.....8 years ago on September 11th, our nation was struck by a savage blow of terrorism that we had never known before. I remember perfectly where I was that day, and what I was doing when I found out that day our country lost the World Trade Center also known as the "Twin Towers" in NYC. In all of the years following the tragedy that befell so many families, I'd never blogged about this event before. Now, it's time to pay homage not only to those who fell with their last breaths that day, but to those who helped ensure that the ones who were able to get out did get out and for the brave men and women who died so others could live past that fateful day. This isn't only to remember those who died on 9-11-01 but to those who have died in battle/combat ensuring our country remains free from oppression and terrorism.  Although I am a soldier, these civilians/firefighters/policemen&women gave the ULTIMATE sacrifice and for that, they'll always be heroes.
 
The month of September has sent many blessings my way. I am thankful for all of the things in which I've received and which I've been able to give myself. I've come past yet another birthday this year and although for the past 2 things have been so down and dark for me, I thank GOD that HE has allowed me to see yet another year upon HIS precious and beautiful Earth. So many times I wish things could be differently for me....I wish I could've been the person above the level I am at now. I feel that my chance has come and gone and I may not be able to reach that level anymore. A life of mediocrity is not suitable for me, nor is it suitable for anyone in my opinion....but I feel as though I've been living that life for so long.  I guess my real question is this: HOW DO YOU CHANGE SOMETHING THAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING YOUR WHOLE LIFE???  I am 23 years old, a member of the U.S. Army, currently in school, and living on my own. I know that I am doing better than many young people my age, and don't get me wrong I am grateful for all that I have, have been given and blessed upon.

It seems that in this day and age, a lot of things in the world do not matter to our generation when it's us who are DIRECTLY affected by most of what's going on.  Whether the effects hit us from the news/media, television, celebrities, politics, etc.  You would think with the milestone we've come with Barack Obama being elected as our 44th President of the United States, people would embrace an African-American Democrat in the White House.....but it seems that only a small percentage of our population (race excluded) feels that way. While I'll admit I don't quite keep up with the news on a day-to-day basis myself...I do keep myself informed of all that goes on around me. The biggest thing that affects me is all that happens with the military as I am a soldier 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. I have really good friends who are soldiers, airmen, marines, and sailors and with this war going on......I am always concerned about where they are when they're not stateside.

I think all of the things going on in the world today....many of them are just maddening: from huge criticism on the President's speeches to celebrity pop stars doing unscripted acts at awards shows; it leads me to wonder what goes through some people's minds and what motivates them to do the things they do and say the things they say.  We all want to believe that our parent's did their very best for us and in many cases that is the case but in others it is not. Some of this is apparent today in the people who have been chosen to be role models for our younger generation. I look at myself sometimes and wonder if ever put into that position could I hold to it and be a positive influence on boys and girls younger than me??? I don't know that I, myself can do it, but I do know of other people who have the potential to be role models and who are acting as role models in their lives right now. I am thankful to be able to call them friends because they may not know it but they inspire me to be a better person each and everyday.

While this month is only half over, some of the best has yet to be seen from me. As of yesterday (September 17th, 2009) all of my past debts have been paid off and taken care of . I am so proud of myself for doing so. I can say that I put myself in a financial hole and was able to dig myself out. All I have to worry about now are my current bills which are far and few between.